The Good, the Bad, and the Completely Awful


Karli and I
Today I was scheduled for my second of four chemo treatments.  Things started off really well.  My blood counts were still high, 18,000 and I was told I did not have to get the Neulasta shot (to boost white blood cell production), which caused me so much pain the last time.  My entourage today consisted of my aunt Diane, my friend Karli, Jeff and his dad Howard.  We got settled in to our infusion room and got things going.  First the anti-nausea meds (woo hoo) and then they started with the infusion of Taxotere.

This was SUPPOSED to be the good stuff!
Taxotere is the first of two chemo drugs in my regimen, the second is Cytoxin.  During my last treatment, I had a minor reaction to the Taxotere (nausea), but I was hoping that was just a fluke and this time would be no problem.  Ah, the best laid plans of mice and men, often go awry.  Within a couple of minutes of starting the infusion, major reaction.  As in "I can't breathe" major.  Yep, room full of people, blood pressure up to 170 something over 111, oxygen tank, the whole nine yards.  They immediately stopped the Taxotere and flushed my system out with just plain Saline.  After a few minutes I started feeling better and my vitals came down.  I thought maybe it was me and I had a panic attack, so we can just try it again right?  Maybe a little slower this time? Nope.

Nurse Jodi.  LOVED her!

Here's where the completely awful comes in.  They had to stop my chemo today and I have to have a new regimen figured out.  It's probably going to be the combination I was hoping to avoid-Adriamycin-but I may have no choice in the matter.  I am beyond disappointed.  Not only does this push my schedule out for who knows how long, but my regimen may be more intense and harder to tolerate.  Not the day I was hoping for.  I guess my Honey Badgers didn't like the tools they were given to work with and I've got to spring for some major equipment.  My nurse today, Jodi, was so great (as they all are) and left me with some words as inspiration.  She said "Everything happens for a reason and maybe this was not the drug you were supposed to have to get you better".  I hope she's right.  I HAVE to believe she's right.  But for today I'm frustrated and upset.  I have an appointment with the Oncologist tomorrow and we'll move to plan "B". 

I would like to send a special thanks out to my friend Deanna Mang who sent me this beautiful "Prayer Shawl".  That was so thoughtful of you, and boy do I need that today!  I will wear it faithfully.  Thank you so much for thinking of me.


  1. Big Hugs!!! Michele

  2. Hi Libby,
    I am so sorry that it went so badly today. I am sure that the nurses advice was right about it not being the right med. I also believe that things happen for a reason and there will be a silver lining to this whole chapter in your life. You are an amazing woman and the strength that you have shown is inspiring. Keep your head up high and walk thru this with grace.

    thinking of you,